Monday, April 13, 2009

My husband spends a fortune on flowers for me?

My husband gives me flowers at least twive a week every week. They are usually roses, 2 dozen or more so they are pretty expensive. He also gives me gifts often just because. The fact that he is so considerate and caring makes me happy but at the same time I can%26#039;t help thinking that he spends so much money on flowers that die in a couple of days.


We do not own a house and we%26#039;ve been trying to save up some money to buy a house and I knbow we have to buy furniture, things for the house, etc. Should I let my husband know that maybe I would like to get flowers less often, like once or twice a month? Don%26#039;t get me wrong, I am very flattered and thankful, we%26#039;ve been married for 6 years and my husband is still so romantic and loves me so much, but we do not even own a house yet and we have so many expenses! What should I do? I do not want to offend him!

My husband spends a fortune on flowers for me?
Tell him that you love the flowers and appreciate them very much, but ask if instead of buying you flowers twice a week, can he put the money away in a fund for a romantic getaway with you. By doing that, you are not telling him that he is wasting money when you have goals and dreams, but you are telling him that you appreciate his romantic gesture and would like to further that gesture by planning and saving for a romantic getaway. Once the money begins to accumulate, your husband may see for himself how it has all been adding up and may come to realize, without you making him feel bad, that he has indeed been spending quite a bit of money for flowers and gifts. He may be encouraged by seeing how much money is saved for your romantic getaway that he may decide to try saving for that house or paying on some of those expenses you have.





You sound like you have a gem of a husband who clearly adores his wife and wants to make her happy. You also sound like someone who cares about him and wants to make him happy as well. It%26#039;s a bit unusual to see such unselfishness in a marriage and also refreshing. If all else fails, I think if you just sit down and talk to him and tell him in a very loving way that you love and appreciate the flowers and gifts, but would like to cut down a bit so you both can reach your goals, he might surprise you and take it very well. It could be that he is so accustomed to spoiling you that he is afraid to curtail his spending, for fear of offending YOU or hurting your feelings in some way. Men are conditioned to not want to mess things up with their wives because we women can be hard to understand sometimes. Your husband might actually be relieved to know he doesn%26#039;t HAVE to spend so much money on you all the time. You will not give him that opportunity to find this out however, unless you talk to him. I think that as long as you are considerate of his feelings when you talk to him and don%26#039;t imply he is being foolish with money, things will turn out okay.
Reply:Tell him to grow a patch in the garden so he can cut them and bring them in to you.
Reply:You are very, very lucky. I deal with disgruntled spouses who cannot recall the last time they received flowers.





Be gracious to him. He is expressing his undying love for you. By denying him this opportunity to express himself will hurt him immensely.





I suggest that instead of flowers you tell him you would prefer sex. This will replace a loving act (buying flowers) with an even MORE loving act (sex). Plus, it won%26#039;t cost you anything, he won%26#039;t get his feeling hurt, and your marriage will be even more strengthened.





A win-win situation.





Good luck.
Reply:just tell him... that you find it so incredibly passionate and beautiful but instead of buying me flowers... why don%26#039;t you take the money that you would have spent on them... and put it into a savings account for our house!








just make sure.. you tell him why... !!!!
Reply:I think you should tell him that you love his romantic side and the fact that he still loves to spoil you after so long, but what you raelly want is a house of your own that you can decorate with your own stuff. Suggest that he puts the money he spends on flowers in a savings acct that you can both watch grow. Tell him once you get a house he can plant flowers that will bloom all spring and summer and you would love that even more.





He sounds like a pleaser, so I am sure if you let him know that this is what you really really want, he will do it.
Reply:ungrateful wench. I never buy my wife flowers
Reply:Omg, are you kidding me?
Reply:Are you kidding? I would kill my husband if he was wasting money like this. I%26#039;m kind of surprised that you waited 6 years to bring this up; just tell him. You are offending him more by accepting something that you don%26#039;t feel comfortable about. Pick the right moment (NOT right after he brings you flowers) and gently suggest that it would make you happier if the money he is spending on flowers went into savings instead. He may feel the same way about the money he%26#039;s spending - but being that he believes it makes you happy, he doesn%26#039;t mind. Talk to him and see if you are on the same page.
Reply:This sounds like an episode from the Twilight Zone. Flowers weekly from a man you%26#039;ve been married to for 6 years??? Good gracious, girl, what have you got that the rest of us don%26#039;t have?? Please share your secret!





But, yeah, I see what you%26#039;re saying and you do need to address the issue with him. He%26#039;s your husband...he%26#039;ll understand. Tell him you appreciate the sentiment but that he doesn%26#039;t have to %26quot;prove%26quot; his love to you so often. Tell him you know he loves you and you love him and you just want to be sure that you are financially secure enough to have the life the two of you dream of one day.
Reply:Just tell him that you love him and love how much he adores you...but if he could but the money he spends on flowers in savings...
Reply:Talk to him in bed. .. be sure to cuddle a lot ... and make a ground first





talk to him about your needs like how a house will contribute to your long term needs like kids and all... then talk about saving money. then drop the bomb
Reply:tell him that the flowers are nice but that you need to save money for your future home


in the mean time...if he wants to show you how much he really loves you with gifts tell him to write notes and leave them for you or something else that wouldnt be as expensive





my husband leaves me a little note every morning before he goes to work
Reply:If your husband really is that considerate then he won%26#039;t be offended by a heart-to-heart talk where you take his hand and look him in the eye and tell him how much you love him. Then explain that while you love the flowers and the gifts and how romantic he is and you do know how much he cares, it would please you more if he put some of the money he spends on those flowers and gifts in your house fund. It can be a little sticky when it comes to dealing with these kinds of feelings so make sure that after you talk about this you let him know in your own way over the next few days how much you care for him too. It%26#039;s a two way street and he deserves the same consideration he is giving you with the attention. As long as you keep his feelings in mind his ego should come out intact and the two of you are closer to owning your home.
Reply:Do what I did oh so many years ago--tell him you hate to see such expensive flowers die in so short a period of time and that you would much rather he buy you rose bushes instead of fresh cut roses. Today I have a beautiful rose garden.
Reply:open up a new savings account with like ING or something with high interest.... tell him every time he thinks about buying flowers.. put the $50 in the savings account instead... that way, you%26#039;ll save up money... and let him spend SOME of that money that accrues in the account on a romantic weekend away from the kids (or other stress or daily chores at home) or something like that.



make up

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